GB Libero Maria Bertelli has just returned to the UK after a successful season for her Swiss club Volley Koeniz. In any season, the end is when the big matches come around and the pressure is on. There were 2 huge matches for Maria over the last 2 weeks, one a disappointing loss and one a medal win, here she talks immediately after each match on the raw feelings of winning and losing….this is a real insight into performance sport..enjoy the read!
Oh yes, it hurts to lose
Wow…..where to start, go from buzzing like a bee to as flat as a pancake.
Today was a huge game, the last game of the play-offs…we were in 3rd place going into the match against the 2nd placed team, NUC. We win the match 3-0 or 3-1 and we make the play off final. The atmosphere in the team before the match was different, I could sense a real belief and determination in the players. We have been ‘nearly’ a few times this season and I really felt today that this was our moment. The players had took responsibility for knowing the opposition, what they do and how best we can counter that. That gave us a bit of added confidence, on top of the desire that was obvious.
We lost the first two sets, NUC celebrated, they knew they were in the final. It hurt, seeing them when I really believed we would be the team that made it through. So, individually we now have to choose whether we show some pride, try to win the match even though we now can’t make the final or want to get out of there as quick as possible.
Some people would say that it doesn’t matter, today was about winning through to the final…once we can’t do that, what does it matter. There’s a part of me that would agree…today was about winning and being on that court knowing we didn’t make the final, it was one of the last places I wanted to be. The other part of me was saying you have the chance to finish your performance, you are a professional, you can still win the match, here’s a huge challenge..fall or rise? I’m happy to say I and we responded and won the 3rd set, we competed in the 4th but NUC were better. I guess that sums it up really, NUC were better than us today. They had 2 plans…one, to counteract us and one to score…they executed them both well.
When you really believe it hurts the most!
My feeling right now…angry, disappointed, flat, numb, empty and tired. It’s like when you are a child, you build yourself up to getting a new present, you’ve been thinking about it for weeks and then it’s not what you wanted or you’re not allowed to play with it. When you really want something and believe you’re going to get it, that’s when it hurts the most. But, this is sport….you have these times & the challenge is to be mentally strong, to respond. The anger is still too much to think rationally right now, that’s for tomorrow….when I will review the match, my own performance, take the good stuff & start preparing for the 3rd/4th place play off next Sunday. I mean what more motivation than the chance to win a medal?!
That winning feeling……there is nothing better!
After the disappointment of not making the playoff final, it was a best of 3 series for 3rd/4th place. It’s one of those matches where you just don’t want to lose…coming 4th is horrible, may as well be 8th ( I know because we were 4th last year). This year, the feeling from the team going into this series was completely different….we were determined to win, the energy was high and I could sense our desire was more than the opposition. That’s massive at this stage of the season…you are not in the final, the end is near; physically and mentally players are very drained and performing at your best in these situations is very difficult…but it’s often when it matters most!
The winning point....
We did it the hard way last night, losing the first set, winning the next two and then losing the 4th 25-17 but in the 5th coming back to win 15-8. I really enjoyed the match….it was one of those situations where you know every ball will count. We were 13-7 up in the 5th set but I couldn’t let myself think we had won. Maybe one more reception for a sideout, trying to stay focussed not because I thought we could lose but because I wanted to finish my own performance. We won the set, the match and the bronze medal with an attack through zone 2 and the usual bunny rabbit celebration from me came out. Honestly, I cant explain this feeling….but I will try…..
The immediate feeling on the court is of celebration, knowing that we got the win we all wanted and everyone is just all smiles, big high 5’s all round and everyone loves each other! Sat in the changing room, I have a big smile on my face…
…..for the team, seeing a unity. I re-see the look in people’s eyes that was determination, belief and sheer joy. Remembering the blocker telling me “I’m taking this ball Maz, right now”…..knowing at that moment, the whole team wanted the same thing and the only thing that mattered at that point was this one ball, the next action.
…..for some of my close friends here, who I know wanted it so much, gave their absolute all week in week out, and now look so happy!
VBC Koniz take the Bronze medal
…..for me, knowing that I delivered. Remembering that feeling of confidence, of being in control of your own state, of rising to the challenges that you put in your own way mentally and the opposition puts in your way technically. It’s pure satisfaction, a warm happy feeling inside, knowing that you were in difficult situations and you did it. I look at my medal, and whilst there’s the nagging bit of me that still wishes it was Gold, it brings a sense of reward. Reward for the hard work on and off the court, times when I make hard choices from silly things such as drinking a horrible recovery shake, going to bed early, to missing my family or putting a career on hold. Winning makes all these things worth while.
Tiredness mentally and physically then kicks in. After a couple of skype conversations to share the win with the people you care about, sleeping wasn’t a problem last night (unlike the few days before).
I’m not sure, I managed to describe how winning feels…if you know it, you will recognise it! Obviously, had we lost that match…the feelings would have been completely different, even if my performance and teams was the same. It just goes to show that winning is that something special that you just cannot buy!
This morning I woke up and that content feeling is still there. We have that win, I have a medal and no-one can take that away but perspective starts to kick in. I feel energised but shattered, enjoy the result but that was yesterday…now time to think forward, to think GB, to plan the next 14 days of rest, recovery and fitness before I begin the summer of a lifetime.
xx
Early in the morning on Saturday 28th April, following the first tough two weeks of the summer 2012 programme, a number of the GBW team were in Sheffield city centre to help open the new DFS store. With cups of tea and coffee on offer while relaxing on a few of the brand new, and incredibly comfy sofas, Carter and Bertelli peppered casually over an arm chair while Captain Beattie went to work cutting the ribbon in her very first store opening.
The team is back based in Sheffield for the majority of the build up to July and we are really excited and grateful to be able to be back in our adopted home. The city has looked after the team so well over the last 5 years in so many regards and for the players, being able to come back to that support network and familiarity after playing in different European clubs each season, is priceless.
It’s great to see DFS arrive in Sheffield and bring comfort to the city’s living rooms, as well as a wider benefit to the community. Like us, this proudly British business comes from these parts and was founded just around the corner in Doncaster. It has a long history of supporting local projects with a great appreciation for teamwork and ambition. With strikingly friendly staff on that Saturday morning, it is a company that continues to grow and reach more people, which is exactly what we hope to help achieve with volleyball, and change the face of the sport in the country. We were really pleased to be part of the team welcoming DFS to Sheffield in April, bringing two of our crucial supporters together.
In recent years we’ve been lucky to work with some brilliant psychologists and while it’s different for everyone, some of the best were those who’ve helped us to really understand ourselves better, ultimately allowing us to push our own boundaries as far as we will allow ourselves to go. The easy stuff I have a familiar tendency to over-analyse but when it comes to analysing myself, I can find it pretty uncomfortable. My most productive sessions have led me to reach my own conclusions, but with expert nudging, knowledgeable ideas and probing questions along the way. It is then that I can really believe it. After all, it is only you with the ultimate control, who has to stand up and deliver.
